


standing there in my party dress

by someone_stupid



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell, F/F, Mentions of Past Eating Disorder, does chloe beale have mommy issues?? (yes yes she does)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29076513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someone_stupid/pseuds/someone_stupid
Summary: Chloe never really spoke that much about her mother. She would avoid talking about her and always change the subject if she came up. Nobody, not even her girlfriend or her best friend, really knew what Chloe’s relationship with her mother was like. However, on the night of Chloe's 23rd birthday party a redheaded woman shows up at the door asking for her daughter to wish her a happy birthday.(Takes place the year after pp1)
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	standing there in my party dress

**Author's Note:**

> maybe i listened to another taylor swift song and made myself sad, deal with it okay. (i listen to a lot of her music so probably 90% of my fics are gonna start with an idea based off of a song) this time i listened to The Moment I Knew and it made me very sad (surprise surprise), the fic doesn’t exactly fit the lyrics but definitely embodies the heartbreak in the song.
> 
> i edited this so many times, any mistakes are between you and god, it’s out of my hands at this point.

Chloe was in her bedroom getting ready for her birthday party happening later that day. She was lucky this year because her 23rd birthday had fallen on a Saturday, so her party could be held on the day of. 

She had one of her favorite blue sundresses on, and she was just finishing putting on her lipstick when Beca walked into the bedroom. 

“Wow,” Beca stopped in the doorway to look at Chloe.

“How do I look?” Chloe asked with a smile.

“Wow,” Chloe loved that even after almost a year of being together she could still render her girlfriend speechless.

After Beca had kissed Jesse when the Bellas won their first ICCAs, the two quickly realized they worked better as friends. This realization came soon after Beca figured out that she had feelings for a certain redhead rather than the person she had kissed. 

Beca admitted her feelings to Chloe, with no small amount of fumbling over her words, and Chloe found out in that moment that the best way to stop her rambling was by kissing her. That particular piece of information had been extremely helpful with how often Beca would get flustered by Chloe’s near constant flirting.

Beca took a good thirty seconds looking at Chloe before she spoke again, “You look absolutely beautiful,” She may have taken a while to get there, but Chloe never once doubted Beca’s sincerity.

Chloe held out her arms and waited for Beca to walk towards her, she put her arms around Beca’s neck and felt Beca wrap her arms around her waist.

“Thank you baby,” Chloe leaned in to give her girlfriend a kiss which Beca easily returned.

“Happy birthday,” Chloe felt Beca say against her lips, and she couldn't help but smile before deepening the kiss.

Chloe often lost herself in kissing Beca, so she wasn't sure how long they had been standing there before she heard a familiar voice coming from her open doorway.

“I thought you said you were going to find Chloe, not devour her.”

Beca pulled back from the kiss to roll her eyes, Chloe left her girlfriend’s embrace to go and greet Aubrey. The two best friends didn't see each other very often since Aubrey graduated and Chloe stayed at Barden, but they called each other at least once a week to catch up.

Chloe heard Beca speak up behind her while she was hugging Aubrey, “Excuse you, I did find her, and besides the devouring comes later,” Chloe couldn't see her, but she was almost positive she knew the exact smirk Beca had on her face.

“Oh _ew,_ ” Aubrey pulled away and shook her head as if she was trying to expel any images from her mind.

“Hush you two. No fighting, it’s my birthday,” Chloe knew it was all in jest. Beca and Aubrey had worked out the most of their differences last year, but she also knew Beca loved to get under Aubrey's skin.

The three of them made their way downstairs together. Earlier in the day Beca had banished Chloe to her room without telling her why. As Chloe made her way down she saw that the entire downstairs of the Bella’s house had been decorated with streamers and balloons, and there was even a homemade banner that said “Happy Birthday Chloe”.

Chloe looked over at Beca and did her best to not start tearing up, “Bec, did you guys do all of this?”

“Um yeah,” Beca rubbed her hand on the back of her neck, “I had all of the girls help decorate because I'm not very good at this kinda stuff. Jessica and Ashley made the sign, and Amy picked up the cake, which I actually haven't seen yet, so it could be a disaster for all I-”

Chloe cut her girlfriend off with a hug, and pulled back to look at her in the eyes, “I love it, thank you so much.”

“Dude, It’s whatever,” Beca was trying to act nonchalant but Chloe could see how proud she was with how happy the decorations made Chloe.

Chloe spent the next couple hours talking with Aubrey and hanging out with all of the other Bellas while people started to arrive for the party. They wanted the party to be a small affair, but Chloe made friends far too easily for her to not invite a lot of people. Even with a larger number of people than originally planned, the party was going smoothly. 

Later in the evening the doorbell rang, Aubrey answered it, as she was the closest to the door. She was surprised when she saw an older redheaded woman at the door.

“Mrs. Beale?” Aubrey hadn’t seen Chloe’s mother in years. Chloe didn't speak much about her mother, but Aubrey always got the vibe that their relationship was more strained than Chloe let on. 

“Hi Aubrey,” The woman looked an awful lot like an older version of Chloe, but her hair was a much more faded color, “is Chloe here?”

At that point, as if she knew she was being talked about, Chloe arrived at the door, “Mom?” She gave Aubrey a reassuring smile before stepping outside the door and closing it behind her, “What are you doing here?”

“What? Can’t a mother want to see her daughter on her birthday?”

“No,” Chloe shook her head, “of course. I just didn't expect to see you, especially without a call or text first.”

“Oh,” She raised her eyebrows, “I have to schedule a time to see my kid?”

“No, mom I didn't mean it like that,” Chloe crossed her arms.

“Right, I'm sorry. I just wanted to stop by and wish you a happy birthday.”

“Well thank you, that means a lot.”

“God, it seems like just yesterday you were a kid, and now look at you-” Chloe's mother gestured broadly at Chloe, “-you’re all grown up.”

“I know, it’s crazy,” Chloe knew to be careful about what she said to her mother because she knew at any moment the tone of their conversation could shift.

“Are you having a party in there?” Chloe’s mother nodded her head towards the house.

“Yeah, just a small get together with some friends to celebrate,” She could hear Amy and some other voices from inside the house yelling about the punch bowl, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Small?” Chloe's mother questioned, Chloe knew the party was a little bit larger than anticipated, but she didn’t think it had gotten out of hand by any means.“I just mean, shouldn’t you be a little bit more worried about school than partying?”

“I do care about school, and I don’t think celebrating my birthday with my friends is time wasted,” She knew that she had spent a lot of time studying, and she felt she deserved a night off for her birthday.

“Honey, your father and I are spending our money to keep you enrolled after you should have graduated, I don’t think it’s too much to ask to have you focused on getting your degree,” Her mother’s tone was soft but Chloe could tell that her words were harsh and had irritation hidden behind them.

“Mom, I really don’t think one night is that much to worry about,” Chloe was getting frustrated with her mother at this point.

“Don’t use that tone with me. I didn’t raise you as the type of person that yells at their mother.”

Chloe hardly felt like she had been yelling, “I just-”

“You just nothing.” 

Chloe kept quiet after that, this wasn’t the first time she heard her mother use that tone, and she knew better than to keep pushing.

Her mother took a deep breath before continuing, “You know I love you Chloe, but every time I see you, I feel like I’m getting let down,” Chloe felt her mother’s words cut into her like a knife, “I put everything I had into being your mother, and honestly at this point, I’m so disappointed in the person you have become.”

Chloe couldn’t do anything but stare at her mother. She had heard her fair share of hurtful comments passed her way in life, but nothing hurt like her own mother’s disappointment.

“I think it’s time you leave,” Chloe said before turning towards the front door.

“Chloe-” She heard her mother say behind her back.

Chloe already had her hand on the door handle “Goodbye mom,” she walked into the house before her mother could say another word.

Chloe felt suffocated the second she walked into the house. Her heart was pounding and she could feel the familiar sting of tears behind her eyes that usually followed a conversation with her mother. It wasn’t the first time she had heard her mother tell her what a disappointment she was, but it never got easier to hear.

She caught Beca’s eyes across the room from where she was still stuck at the front door, and her girlfriend immediately started to make her way toward her.

Before Beca could reach her, Amy came out of the kitchen holding a cake that had far too many lit candles to be safe, “Where’s the birthday girl? We gotta hurry up and sing so I can dig into this cake without her girlfriend yelling at me.” 

Chloe suddenly found herself being herded towards the cake. She could see that the cake had a picture and some writing on the top, but she couldn’t make out what it said. Everyone surrounded her and the cake and it did nothing to calm her down from the panic she was already feeling. Everyone started singing, but Chloe was already lost to her mind.

_“Happy Birthday to you”_

_Why couldn’t I just be better,_

_“Happy Birthday to you”_

_It’s my fault I’m such a disappointment,_

_“Happy Birthday, dear Chloe”_

_It’s all my fault,_

_“Happy Birthday to You”_

By the time everyone stopped singing Chloe couldn’t take it anymore, “I’m so sorry,” she covered her mouth as her tears started falling, “I can’t do this.” 

Chloe pushed her way through everyone and into the bathroom. She locked the door before she essentially collapsed to the floor. She leaned back against the wall in the bathroom and tucked her knees up to her chest. She covered her face in her hands to try and muffle her sobs.

She could barely make out the muffled chatter outside of the bathroom, She knew they were talking about her. _God,_ why couldn’t she just keep it together until everyone left? 

She heard a knock on the door before she heard Beca’s voice, “Chlo,” there was a pause but Chloe couldn’t get her mouth to form any words to respond, “Chloe, can I come in?” 

Chloe somehow found the strength to unlock the door but she couldn’t bring herself to do any more than that. She put her head back down in her hands. She heard the door open and close again before she felt a body sit next to her on the floor.

She knew that Beca was giving her time, and taking her cues on how to help. Chloe’s cries eventually calmed down and she just leaned into Beca’s side. Beca put her arm around Chloe's shoulder and just held her tight. 

Eventually Beca spoke, “Do you want me to send everyone else home?” 

Chloe really didn’t feel like going back out to the party and facing everyone after everything, she nodded her head against Beca’s shoulder.

Beca got her phone out from her back pocket, presumably to send a message that the party was over. Beca put her phone down and wrapped her arms around Chloe.

Through the door Chloe could make out the sound of Amy’s voice, “Oi! Party’s over everyone! Birthday Girl got her period and is too emotional to continue celebrating. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”

Chloe felt Beca let out a scoff at Amy’s announcement, “Sorry, I told her to make an excuse to get everyone to leave. Should have known better.”

Chloe burrowed further into Beca’s arms, “It’s okay.”

They sat on the floor in silence for a long while, Beca was running her hand up and down Chloe back. Eventually Chloe had calmed down and felt like she could finally talk in full sentences again, “My mom showed up.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” She knew Beca wouldn’t push if she said she didn’t want to talk about it, somehow that made it easier.

Chloe let out a big sigh, “It’s just-” She felt more tears welling up in her eyes, “-she always makes me feel so bad about myself. Like I get it, my grades have never been the best, and I never dated anybody good enough, and I was never skinny enough, and yes, okay, I still haven’t graduated college. I know all of these things, they all live in my head already, I don’t need her to remind me.”

Chloe could tell Beca didn’t really know what to say, but she didn’t need her to say anything at all, she just needed her to listen.

Chloe had never told anybody the extent of her tumultuous relationship with her mother. Aubrey knew that they fought a lot and it was the reason she didn’t go home very often, but there was a lot Chloe left out of the story.

But, Chloe didn’t feel afraid to tell Beca the whole story, “And like, it wasn’t always like this. Me and her used to be best friends, I always wanted to tell her everything. As I got older, I just started to do more things wrong I guess. She would always compare me to all the other girls my age and tell me that I needed to be smarter like them, and date nice boys like them, and lose weight to look like them.”

Chloe heart hurt remembering all of the things she used to go through while living at her parents house, but still she continued, “And all any kid ever wants to do is make their parents proud, so I tried so hard to be what she wanted. I would stay up all night studying but then I would fall asleep in class. I would try to date nice boys but then I just got called a ‘slut’. I would fucking starve myself until I would almost pass out. I did everything I could think of to try and make her proud, but I still did it all wrong.”

Chloe took a deep breath, she felt herself getting worked up again, “Anyway, she showed up here acting like she wanted to tell me ‘happy birthday’ but then she just went off about how I'm still at school and I’m wasting my time, and how much of a disappointment I am. My own mom looked me in the eyes and called me a disappointment.”

Chloe finished her story before tucking herself back into Beca’s side. She felt absolutely pathetic, crying on the floor of the bathroom on her birthday.

Beca didn’t say anything for a while, but eventually she spoke up, “You already know about how my dad left when I was a kid, but my birthday was always the hardest. For the first couple years after he left I would get a birthday card with some cash inside of it, sometimes they would come late, but eventually the cards just stopped. I never knew if he just forgot every year, or if he stopped caring. It made me hate my birthday, because every year I knew that my dad wouldn’t be there, that I wasn’t worth even a card in the mail. I always blamed myself, like maybe if I was a better kid then he would have stayed, maybe if I did more he would remember my birthday. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that it wasn’t my fault. He was the one that made the decision to leave, he was the one that didn’t show up, he was the one who forgot to send a card.”

Beca paused her story and nudged Chloe, she lifted her head to look at Beca in the eyes.

Beca continued, “Chloe, it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault that your mom said all of those things to you. She made the decision to say them. You’re right, all any kid wants it to make their parents proud, and that’s all you ever tried to do. You didn’t fail your mother, she failed you. She failed you because she put all of these impossible conditions on her love for you,” Beca took a deep breath, “I guess what I’m trying to say is that you can’t carry the weight of your parents' failures on your shoulders for the rest of your life, you deserve so much better than that,” Beca cupped Chloe's cheeks in her hands and looked into her eyes, at this point they were both crying, “You, Chloe Beale, deserve the world.”

Chloe was still crying, but not just because her mother had broken her heart, but because her girlfriend was next to her, doing her best to put it back together.

Chloe spoke up now that she was confident Beca had finished her speech, “I love you.”

Beca gave her a soft watery smile, “I love you too, so much.”

Chloe hugged Beca again, they both stayed on the floor together in their embrace for a long time. Eventually they had both stopped crying and calmed their emotions down significantly.

“I’m sorry for crying so much and missing the party,” Chloe felt bad for ruining the party Beca had spent so long preparing for.

Beca gave Chloe a genuine smile, “It’s okay. It’s your party, you can cry if you want to.” 

Chloe couldn’t help but laugh at Beca quoting a fucking Lesley Gore song, but it did help her feel a little bit better. 

Beca spoke up again, “Are you ready to go back out there?”

“Yeah I think so,” She knew she couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever, even if Beca made her feel so safe. 

Beca stood up then reached out her hands to help Chloe up, Chloe didn’t give her the chance to pull away before giving her a kiss, “Thank you.”

“Please,” Beca scoffed, “What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t try to cheer you up?”

Chloe was almost at a loss for words for how much Beca meant to her in that moment, “I really love you.”

“I love you too,” Beca returned her sentiment so easily that Chloe felt her heart warm just a little bit.

The two of them walked out of the bathroom hand in hand to see all of the Bellas waiting in the living room for them. Aubrey stood up the second she saw them and started to make her way over to Chloe.

Chloe spoke to them all before Aubrey could reach her, “I’m so sorry guys, I-”

Aubrey cut her off, “Stop it, you have nothing to apologize for,” Chloe pulled Aubrey into a hug the moment she was close enough to do so. 

Amy stood up, “I spent a lot of time picking out the perfect cake, are we gonna eat it or not?”

The other Bellas stood up and they all made their way to the kitchen. Beca and Aubrey stayed close to Chloe the entire time, which she appreciated. She was in need of the extra closeness.

Chloe saw the cake on the counter and stood in front of it, for the first time that day she saw the cake in all of its glory.

The cake itself had a picture of shirtless David Hasselhoff from _Baywatch_ on it, and the icing wrote out “Happy Hasselhoff Birthday!”

Chloe couldn’t hold back her laugh at the cake, she and Amy had once spent the evening watching old _Baywatch_ reruns together while everyone else was busy or out of the house. They made it a tradition to watch the show anytime it was just the two of them.

“Oh my god,” Chloe made her way over to Amy to give her a hug, “I love the cake Amy, thank you so much.”

“I knew you would,” Amy let go of her to turn Chloe’s body back towards the cake, “Now hurry up and make your wish so we can cut into this, I already have dibs on his six-pack.”

They lit the candles on the cake, not all of them because Aubrey was stated they were a fire-hazard, and Chloe suddenly found herself at a loss for what to wish for. Her troublesome relationship with her mother didn’t take away all of the good that she had built around herself.

She looked around at the Bellas and felt an overwhelming sense of family. Her eyes caught Beca’s from where she was stood next to her and heard her whisper, “I love you.”

Chloe knew that the wounds her mother had made wouldn’t heal overnight, but with the help of the family she had built that loved her unconditionally, they could finally begin to fade.

**Author's Note:**

> here is my [tumblr](https://someone--stupid.tumblr.com/) i dont post much (sorry), but i will upload links to my fics here when i post them if you wanna keep up with that sort of thing


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